Sustaining relationships

Relationship is defined as “the way in which two or more people are connected to each other”. Since we humans are social beings, we are part of various relationships – parent & child relationship, sibling relationships, teacher student relationships, friendships, girlfriend boyfriend relationships, etc. Certain of these relationships are long-term and very valuable for us. It is not easy to sustain all relationships that we consider valuable. Some relationships fade and will be broken even though we wanted them to work. How do we effectively sustain relationships and how do we essentially fulfill our part in a relationship?

Let us open the treasure book and find clues as always!!!

OPENING THE TREASURE BOOK

Well, there are no shortcut formulas for sustainability. But there are few things we need to do right, that will help sustain a relationship.

LOVE is vital to any relationship that we consider valuable.

Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment.

Matthew 22:37-38

The greatest commandment of all times is to LOVE our GOD with all our heart, all our soul and all our mind. The complete being that we are, should love GOD. This is the first and foremost relationship that we are part of. This is the most vital relationship in our life. Every other relationship comes after this. No other relationship should take the place of this relationship. Put God first. Love Him the most. Loving anything else more than God is Idolatry. When other relationships take the place of the relationship with God, it will not stay for long but falls out and fades away eventually.

Communication is another factor essential in any relationship. Without communication, relationships fade. We should communicate to God. Prayer, reading the word of God are ways of communication with God. So we should be spending time and effort on our relationship with God. When this relationship is put in the right place and given the right priority, everything else falls in to place.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

The second important relationship is the relationship with your spouse. And every other relationship comes after that.

Place your relationships in the right order. The relationship with God comes first and is vital. Every other relationship follows this.

And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8

And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 

Matthew 22:37-38

There are many factors involved in a relationship – love, care, commitment, faithfulness, trust, communication, honesty, mutual respect, etc., are a few to name. Out of these, love is the greatest. It is the most important factor in all relationships. Relationships thrive on love. Love should be earnest and genuine. Without genuine love, serious relationships do not thrive but fades with time. When genuine love dies, the relationship dies too. You should love the other person involved in the relationship as you love yourself. When your love for a person is genuine, you cannot knowingly hurt them. There will not be any place for ego or selfishness or any thing of that sort. All your actions will be out of the best interest for them.

Love helps to bear one another and sacrifice for one another. When you love the other person as yourself your relationship will be rooted in love. And when relationships are rooted in love, it will not wither away but thrives. It withstands all trials no matter how tough they are.

Love is the most important factor in a relationship and earnest love sustains relationships. Relationships rooted in genuine love thrives and withstands all trials.

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Matthew 7:12 ESV

We all have expectations about all our relationships. For example, in a parent child relation, the child expects parent to provide for them while they grow up. Similarly, in a friendship, each party expects the other to be supporting them in all circumstances they are passing through. When our expectations about the other person in the relationship is not fulfilled by them, we feel dejected and tired. And when this continues, we try by all means to get out of the relationship.

But the word of God has a different take on expectations. It says that whatever we expect others to do for us should be done for them. If we expect them to help us in our studies, we should do the same for them. If we expect them to help us in our chores, we should help them in their chores. If we love this person as ourselves this should be an easy task for us because it is just like we are taking care of ourselves. And when the love is genuine taking care of others will not tire us off.

The right way of handling expectations in a relationship is to do for others what you wish they would do for you.

Treasures uncovered

Prayer:

Father we thank you for teaching us that our relationship with you should be our first and the most important one. Help us to love you with all our heart, soul and mind. Help us to root our valuable relationships in love. Help us to also do for others what we expect them to do for us. In Jesus name, Amen.

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